Ashley Mashley

story of my life and random ramblings..

Dreams at Night: They Can Get a Little Crazy!

I have had some odd dreams lately.. they all involve people I know (or have known) but not in a realistic format. I think dreams are some form of subconscious thinking but figuring them out proves difficult sometimes.

A couple of nights ago, I dreamed that I was dating a guy friend of mine. In real life, we have been on one date but realized we just weren’t what the other was looking for. So in my dream, we were dating and it was getting serious. He came over to my family’s house for Thanksgiving along with his mom–who I’ve never met. I was sitting with my sister and we were drinking a glass of wine. Later that night, I heard his mom talking crap about me; saying that she didn’t like me and that I was a drunk, when in my dream I only had one glass of wine. I was unhappy that she didn’t like me and went up to him after everyone had left.

“Your mom hates me and thinks I’m a drunk!”

He replied, “You can’t please everyone.”

“But it’s your Mom! I want her to like me. I don’t even know why she thinks I’m a drunk when I only had one glass of wine,” I retorted.

“It’s not a big deal.”

Of course, in my dream, I thought it was a huge deal! But I don’t even know why I would have a dream about dating him. Weird! It’s probably because the last time I saw him, he looked damn good… I told my sister about my dream the next morning. She’s met his mom before and she thought it was odd since his mom is really nice. I really don’t know what to think about that one.

Then last night, I dreamed of an ex-boyfriend. In reality we only dated for a few months and it never got serious because of his wandering eye, so I broke it off. In this dream, I was with my mom at a BounceU or Discovery Zone type of place, I guess for a kid’s birthday. Somehow he found out I was there and stopped by. It creeped me out since I hadn’t talked to him for months, but my mom ended up telling him where we were. (Which is not out of character for my mom. Love you mom!) He started to beg me back, saying that he missed me, etc., etc. I really did not care. He was even getting on his knees begging! I told him to get up off the floor. I didn’t care about anything he was saying, I wanted him up and out. Even my mom was pleading for me to get back with him but I wasn’t about to deal with his drama again.

I don’t know why I keep having dreams about guys of my past… I had another one about my ex-fiancé, but don’t remember the scene. Probably for the best though. I guess I’m missing that romantic aspect of my life right now. It’s always fun to have someone to share everything with, but for now, I’m enjoying just being me!

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Do You Know Which Buttons to Push?

I’ve felt surprisingly philosophical lately, just looking back on certain situations in my life that don’t make much sense…

Why is it that when I dated someone for a couple months and they would get mad, it would produce absolutely no anger in my heart–which is rare because I get angered pretty easily. (Yes, I’ve been working on it.) I felt we had a deep connection, but our little spats would dissolve quickly because I would just give in to whatever he was mad about. And that’s not my personality at all. It’s usually my way or the highway, even though I compromise every once in a while.

But then someone that I have absolutely no romantic relationship with can just push my buttons at a moment’s notice. I was already in a grouchy mood–which probably didn’t help. But when someone comes at me with a negative and accusing tone, do not expect me to back off. I could feel my face begin to flush, a bright red shade and suddenly I felt as if I was under attack. So I did the first thing that came to mind, become defensive and argue my point to no end.

This is the first time in over a year that I was so angry that I was literally shaking. I don’t like when people come at me basically accusing me of something in a roundabout way. I’m a very upfront and truthful person, so much so that I can be blunt enough to hurt someone’s feelings unintentionally. So if you have a problem with me, I have no problem with you letting me know. But don’t start with such an off-putting attitude. That will make the issue spiral downwards quickly.

What is something that has made you angry lately and why?

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